


Le Divagazioni di un Italiano in Difficoltà

by TeatimeDuchess



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Angst, Other, deep thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-23
Updated: 2014-08-23
Packaged: 2018-02-14 08:36:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 643
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2185023
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TeatimeDuchess/pseuds/TeatimeDuchess
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The ramblings of a distressed Italian.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Le Divagazioni di un Italiano in Difficoltà

**Author's Note:**

> This is just a short one shot that I've been meaning to write for a while. It's more of a therapeutic drabble for myself. But enjoy anyway~
> 
> This fic hasn't been beta'd.

Feliciano sat in his room, knees pulled up to his chest as he leaned back against a pile of pillows with a small notebook propped open. He chewed at his bottom lip, pen in hand as he simply stared at the fresh, blank pages waiting to be written on.  
  
He knew that he would feel better once he started writing. The problem was, of course, starting.  
  
Taking a deep breath, he pressed the pen to the lined page, a solid way to begin getting his thoughts out, and let his emotions flow through the black ink.  
  
 _I feel like I've been annoying everyone a lot more than usual lately. Or maybe it's the fact that everyone is finally done putting up with me? I'm not really sure. I just know that it hurts every time Ludwig tells me he's already got plans, or when fratello is away for too long._  
  
 _I have to wonder if it isn't because of me._  
  
 _Ludwig is always quick to tell me that he likes being my friend whenever I ask him, and I know that Lovino is with Antonio. But there's always this nagging voice at the back of my head that keeps telling me that they don't like me. That no one likes me. That I'm annoying and clingy and I get scared easily and I'm too dependant on others. That I'm a bother._  
  
 _I mean, I wouldn't blame them for thinking that. I can be a lot to handle._  
  
 _I try to back off sometimes, to give them their space because I know their lives don't revolve around me. But it's almost as if they don't notice I'm gone. As if my disappearance is something that they've been waiting for. And I always want to run back to them instantly to make sure they haven't forgotten me or that something bad hasn't happened to them._  
  
 _And every time I'm the one who goes back. The one to start a conversation. And they'll never know how much it hurts that they didn't notice I wasn't there._  
  
 _Mio dio, I always feel so alone when I'm not around my loved ones or friends. It's hard to stay away from them with my mind telling me that I deserve to be alone forever. I want to prove it wrong. I want to prove to myself that I am loved and wanted and not a burden._  
  
 _And even though I constantly apologize for being loud and excitable and for wanting to constantly talk to and be with my friends and family, I can't help but feel like that's annoying them as well._  
  
 _So what can I do but write down how I feel and hope that none of it is really true?_  
  
Feliciano closed the book, hooking the pen onto the pale green cover of his little journal. He stared at his outlet, unmoving for a few minutes as he pondered his own words. Shaking his head from his current state of mind, he set the book aside in the small drawer of his bedside table, and wiped away the trail of a tear that had found its way down his cheek.  
  
That was certainly enough negative thinking for tonight.   
  
At least he felt a little better now that he had gotten his emotions out on something tangible.  
  
With Lovino gone for the evening, and Ludwig away on business, Feliciano lay down and curled up under the thin comforter on his bed alone. Ludwig would be back tomorrow, even if Lovino would still be away. The knot in his stomach tightened just that much more, but he allowed himself a small smile; he was happy that he would see the German soon.   
  
Feliciano turned off the short lamp beside him, tugging the blankets up to his chin and closing his eyes, knowing that tomorrow would be a better day. 


End file.
